“What are you makin’?” asks Charlie.
“An apple pie,” I reply.
“Mmm! For me?”
“No, not just for you! For all of us. Tonight.”
“What’s goin’ on tonight?”
“We’re having dinner, remember? With Irene and Jimbo?”
“We are? When did this come up?”
“A couple of weeks ago. I told you!”
“News to me.”
“No, it’s not. Where’s your calendar?”
Charlie pulls out his dog-eared pocket calendar.
“I know it’s in there, Charlie. I remember watchin’ you as you scribbled it in. Probably can’t read your own handwriting.”
Charlie fumbles through it. “Oh. Yeah. Guess I should look at it every now and then.”
“Might be helpful. Anyhoo, if you want pie, that’s what we’re doin’ tonight. Unless you have some prior commitment.”
Folks, if you’re planning on havin’ fun together, get on the same page. That means putting it in your calendar, and (I shouldn’t have to say this, but I will) checkin’ your calendar every once and awhile. Whether you type it into your phone and “share it on the cloud” (whatever that means) or go old school like me (a pen and a big month-at-a-glance type deal), it’s more likely to happen if you schedule it in. Puttin’ it in writing will also help in the selective hearing department. Talk about it, write it down while he’s watchin’ and make him write it in his calendar (if he even uses one). Then, when the ol’ spousal deafness kicks in, you can have yourselves a calendar show down. And voila! There it is in black and white, baby!
Most of us have to pick our vacations from work in advance, so you don’t have to worry about blocking those in. They’re a given. But a good relationship takes a little more together time than that. I’m talking goin’ on a date once a week, maybe takin’ a long weekend together every quarter.
If you’re the planner in the couple, this is your job. If you leave it to your mate, they might be just as happy sittin’ at home, watchin’ the tube. Nothin’ wrong with that, of course, but it can get a little same old, same old. Suck it up, planners: research some options and make it happen. There’s nothin’ like getting outta the house together to keep the doldrums at bay.
I remember a dance awhile back down to the Knights of Columbus. I’m chattin’ with Shirley.
“Gee,” I says, “look at the boys over there all happy, laughing. Probably tellin’ dirty jokes.”
“No doubt,” Shirley agrees.
“Nice to see ‘em havin’ fun, though.”
“Now he’s all jolly, but gettin’ Junior here was another story. You’d think he was goin’ to his execution.”
“He didn’t want to come?”
“Oh, you know, he’d had a hard week at work. Totally forgot about the dance. Grumble, grumble. You know the drill.”
“Sure do.”
“So I says to him, ‘Junior, I know it would be easier to just stay home, doin’ nothing. But we’re goin’ to that dance and have fun whether we want to or not.’ Sometimes, you just gotta take command, you know? I figured it’d do him good, blow off a little steam, put the week behind him. Now look at him over there, yuckin’ it up.”
“Sometimes, Shirley, they just need a lovin’ push out the door.”
“I was thinkin’ more like a swift kick in the pants!”
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: Put It In Writing
May 26: Book Reading Finding Your Inner Moose, Old Town Public Library, 11:00 a.m., Old Town, ME
May 26: Book Reading Finding Your Inner Moose, Pittsfield Public Library, 6:00 p.m., Pittsfield, ME