Spoiler alert: I’m going to tell you the whole plot of this flick, so if you plan on seeing it, you may want to skip this post.
The Women Who Run With the Moose (me and my friends Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot and Shirley) went to see the Barbie movie over the weekend. Since you’re reading this blog, this is probably no a surprise to you. Goes without saying, we all wore pink. Easy for me, as pink’s in my color wheel and I have quite a bit of it in my closet. But it was a stretch for Shirley. She’s more of a purple kind of gal. Oddly, the guys expressed no interest in going. Go figure!
The movie didn’t disappoint, but was kind of different than we expected. It was a little weird at the beginning, with little girls playing with baby dolls, then a giant Barbie arrives and the little girls realize they can be more than just mothers and they start smashing their dolls.
Then we’re transported to Barbie Land and everything’s all frothy, fun and pink, as you’d imagine. Barbie and all the Barbies are having a hell of a good time doing every job you can imagine and still finding time to dance and sing and look cute. Plus, there are a bunch of harmlessly hunky Kens doing what they do. Basically, being an accessory to Barbie, like her car or her dream house, only cuter.
Life is good until Barbie has a random thought about death. Suddenly, her feet go flat and everything goes haywire. Barbie visits Weird Barbie to see what the heck is up. She’s told a portal has opened between Barbie Land and the real world because someone who is playing with a Barbie is sad and having thoughts of death, too. Turns out Barbie has to go into the real world, find the person who’s sad and put things right. Ken stows away in Barbie’s dream car and goes with her.
Barbie’s in for a rude awakening. The real world isn’t what she expected. It’s weird and hard and, even worse, Barbies don’t run it, which is a major shock-a-rooney. Ken, though, is pretty jazzed seeing so many guys in control. He decides that instead of doing Beach, he’d rather do Patriarchy, which Ken thinks has something to do with horses. He hightails it back to Barbie Land with the good news. Are you with me so far?
Meanwhile, Barbie finds the unhappy woman who caused this mess and her daughter. Turns out, the mom and daughter are going through a rough patch. Barbie takes them back to Barbie Land to cheer them up. But guess what? Now it’s Ken Land which is not all frothy, fun and pink. In fact, it could use a good house cleaning. Plus, all the Barbies have become bimbos and lost their jobs.
In the end, though, it all turns out good, as you’d expect. Barbie and the mom remind the other Barbies of who they really are, they snap out of it, come up with a plan to make the Kens jealous, which they do. While the Kens are waging war, the Barbies take over Ken Land and make it Barbie Land again. Phew!
Turns out Ken is kind of relieved because doing patriarchy is harder than he thought. And it doesn’t have all that much to do with horses. Plus, the mom and her daughter are now getting along and everything’s hunky dory.
Or is it? Turns out Barbie is changed by her adventure and decides she wants to become human. Ruth Handler, the woman who created Barbie (played by Carla from “Cheers”) explains to Barbie what it means to be human by showing her a memory reel of real people laughing and hugging and doing real people stuff. This makes Barbie cry, in a good kind of way, and decides to do it. She leaves Barbie Land behind and returns to the real world with the mother and daughter.
That bit with the memory reel made me kind of sad. It got me thinking of my own memory reel, and how fast life is going right now. I’m 65, and somehow things feel like they’re speeding up.
I remember when my mom was dying. One day, we were sitting in the den just the two of us and I asked her if she was scared.
“No, honey, not anymore. I am kind of sad, though, because I really want to see how it all turns out for you and Irene and your dad.”
Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when I think of having just 15 or 20 years left (hopefully), I feel that way too.
Anyhoo, after the movie, the girls and me weren’t quite as bubbly as when we went in. Then Shirley goes, “Gees, that was deeper than I expected. Let’s go over to Applebee’s. No salads. Just appetizers and desserts.”
We all agreed, and off we went to do what you do in the real world. You know, eat too much fat and sugar while talking a mile a minute and laughing ‘til our bellies hurt. So basically, adding more fun times to our memory reel.
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: The New Barbie Movie