I totally lost it over Easter! Wow, how can one person eat that many Cadbury Eggs? You know, them miniature ones with velvety cream filling or luxurious caramel? Because they’re small, I tried to fool myself into thinking they weren’t as bad as the big ones. I mean, you get all that exercise peeling off the foil wrappers, right?
I think my big mistake was I bought some a week early and opened the package. Just one, I says to myself, you know, to make sure they’re not spoiled or nothing. Well, one led to another and another, and before I know it, I’ve polished off every single one of ‘em, and I did not share with Charlie. Then I find myself thinking, Oh, I better pick up some more in case I don’t have time before Easter. Which doesn’t make sense because we carry them down to the A&P where I work, Monday-Friday. So, Monday, I buy another package. Takes me ‘til Tuesday to break it open. By Wednesday, yup, they’re gone.
OK, I says to myself, I’m not buying any more until Saturday. But then I start worrying about the A&P runnin’ out of them. And the Rite Aid, too, for that matter. Better get some more, just in case. I mean, it wouldn’t be Easter without them eggs, now, would it? I had a vision of me standing on a street corner with a sign reading, “Will Work For Cadbury Crème Eggs.”
Easter arrives and Charlie goes, “Ida, we got any of them Crème Eggs left?”
“No,” I says. “A&P’s out of them.” All the while I’m hoarding three eggs in my lingerie drawer which I manage to scoff down after mass. Can you imagine? Lyin’ to your husband Easter Day?
Well, we went to my sister Irene’s house for dinner. I have to admit, I arrived cranky, bloated and suffering from a sugar headache. Once there, I ate moderately of the ham and scallop potatoes, but had a piece and a half of pineapple-upside down cake: my last hurrah.
I’m on the straight and narrow now, though it’ll probably take a few days to work all that sugar out of my system. This morning, on my walk with Scamp, I found myself pondering my crème egg binge.
I remember my Aunt Doreen loved sweets, too. As she got older, every once in awhile she’d stop eating regular food and just eat candy. From time to time, we’d have to dry her out from all that sugar like an alcoholic from alcohol.
I don’t know what her motivation was, other than liking candy. But for me, some of it has to do with childhood memories. I mean, candy’s around all the time at work, and for the most part, I’m pretty good about it. It’s only on holidays like Easter that the lid blows off.
It’s like by eating that Cadbury Crème Egg, for a moment, I’m transported back to being a kid. Back to a place that was sweet and filled with love. To a time when I still believed in the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus. And that my parents would always be there to kiss my boo-boos and make everything better. For me, those crème eggs are irresistible nuggets of foil-wrapped love.
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: The Sweetest Hangover
Upcoming Book Events and Performances
March 21: A Visit With Ida, 1:00pm, Westbrook Seniors, Westbrook, ME
April 12: Book Reading: Finding Your Inner Moose, Windham Public Library http://www.windham.lib.me.us/, 6:00pm, Windham, ME
May 19: Book Launch: The Sweet Life, details TBA
May 24: Book Reading: The Sweet Life, Patten Free Library, http://www.patten.lib.me.us/ 6:30pm, Bath, ME
May 28: Ida: Woman Who Runs With the Moose, The Castel on Charles http://www.castlenh.com/ 8:00pm, Rochester, NH
June 2: Book Reading: The Sweet Life, Hubbard Free Library, http://www.hubbardfree.org/ 6:00pm, Hallowell, ME
June 25: The Best of Ida, Celebration Barn Theater, http://www.celebrationbarn.com/ 8:00pm, South Paris, ME