I remember when I first brought the subject up to Charlie. Boy, I hadn’t seen that level of enthusiasm since I told him we were goin’ on the Cabbage Soup Diet.
“Geez Louise, Ida. Tell me you’re not serious.”
“I am, Charlie, and I’m not takin’ no for an answer. We need to get our papers in order and discuss what we each want if something happens.”
“Nothin’s gonna happen.”
“Charlie, something happens every time you go out with the boys. Need I remind you of the time…”
“No, no, I don’t need remindin’!”
“Well, this is what I want for my birthday. Along with all the other stuff you were gonna get me!”
That got a little smile outta him. “Okay,” he sighs, “when do you want to do it? And don’t say tonight after I get outta work.”
“No, we’re both best in the morning.” (I’d thought this out.) “How ‘bout this Sunday I cook us up a nice breakfast, bacon, eggs and homemade biscuits, and then we sit down and make a start. Sound good?”
“Well, actually,I was plannin’ on cleanin’ out my workshop Sunday.”
“Yeah, right. Pull the other one, will ya? The last time you cleaned out that workshop, Jimmy Carter was President.”
“Ouch!”
“Charlie, there’s never going to be the perfect time to talk about this stuff. But it has to be done. It’s your choice: homemade biscuits with molasses or high fiber cereal and skim milk? For a week.”
“Uh, how ‘bout door number three?”
“There is no door number three.”
“Alright, alright. Homemade biscuits.”
“Good choice. I’ll get all the stuff together we’re gonna to need. In the meantime, you can start thinking about what you want.”
“Won’t matter to me, Ida. I’ll be dead.”
“Very funny!”
So, we had the talk. And it went better than expected. There’s a great website my sister Irene told me about it. She works down to the Senior Center in town, and so she has lots of wonderful resources at her fingertips. Just Google “The Conversation Project,” and you’ll find everything you need to get going, including a starter kit. Charlie and me didn’t exactly work through all the questions in the kit, though. I thought that might put Charlie off. I read it and sort of boiled it now for him. You know, the Cliff’s Note version.
Actually, there were a few surprises. Turns out, if it comes down to pullin’ the plug, Charlie doesn’t care who does it. I mean, a complete stranger walkin’ down the hall of the hospital, that’s fine with him, long as it gets done.
Me, I want Charlie and Irene to make the decision together. That way Charlie will have someone to talk it over with. He won’t feel so alone.
We both want to be cremated, but I don’t really care what happens to my ashes. I figure they should be scattered some place where the folks who knew me will be able to go and think of me every now and then.
But Charlie had other ideas. I says to him, “You want me to do what with your ashes?”
“I told you. I want ‘em scattered up on Ragged Mountain, overlookin’ Mount Katahdin. Great snowmobilin’ up there. Beautiful part of Maine. Nothing but wilderness as far as the eye can see. The boys’ll know where.”
“Yeah, but what if they’re all gone, too?”
“I’ll mark it on a map.”
“Okay, let me get this straight. If you go before me, I gotta wait ‘til winter, then suit up and snowmobile into the wilds of Maine to scatter your ashes?”
“Yup, you’ll have a great time.”
“But hopefully, I’ll be an old woman by then.”
“Heck, if you’re too old, you can just ride on a sled with one of the boys or a get a guide. Ida, the view up there is…well, to die for.”
“Ha, ha.”
“I want to share it with you, sweetheart.”
With that, I got a little teary, I admit. But Charlie made his wishes clear. When that time comes, I’ll just buck up and do the deed for him, no matter how decrepit I am.
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
IDA’s PODCAST: You want me to do what with your ashes?
Upcoming Shows and Book Events
April 16: Filming The View From He’ah, with guest Lucie Therrien, 7:00p.m., PPMtv, Portsmouth, NH
April 17: The Moose in Me, The Moose in You, The Firehouse Center for the Arts, 8:00 p.m., Newburyport, MA
April 28: A Visit With Ida, Spectrum Generations Volunteer Recognition Event, 2:00 p.m., Hallowell, ME
May 26: Book Reading Finding Your Inner Moose, Old Town Public Library, 11:00 a.m., Old Town, ME
May 26: Book Reading Finding Your Inner Moose, Pittsfield Public Library, 6:00 p.m., Pittsfield, ME