When the world’s your toilet, it’s hard to decide where to go and for how long. You gotta think things through and that involves a lot of sniffing. Well, it does for our dog, Scamp. I image it’s like reading the morning paper for the little guy.
I admit, I’m more patient for this kind of dawdling or “dog-ling” as I call it, than Charlie is. I figure it’s Scamp chance to catch up with what’s new in the neighborhood. But Charlie’s a man on a mission. “Get ‘er done,” is his motto. He and Scamp have long discussions about it.
Our Discussion
OK, fella, hup, hup hup!
Come here, so I can cinch you up
Do that yogi pose you know,
Then hup, two, three, and out we go!
Now it’s time to do your part
But oh my goodness, where to start?
When all your neighborhood’s a toilet,
Where do you begin to soil it?
Here! You’re thinking, here will do
I’ll pee a bit, then look anew!
Oh, that’s you, in all your glory
Stakin’ out your territory
Letting all the canines know
Who’s the latest so-and-so
The one who’s got, what seems to me,
An endless reservoir of pee
Is that your aim? Is that your goal?
To leave your mark on every pole?
Every snow bank, every mound?
Oh, the options do abound!
Every mailbox, every post?
Or are there some you like the most?
Does every bush’s lower half
Deserve to get your autograph?
Not on my watch, mister man
We’re stopping when I say you can
It isn’t like I got all day
So let’s get moving, what you say?
Later on, I’ll have more time
To ponder things and make up rhyme
Later on, I won’t be rushin’
We’ll continue our discussion
Happy birthday, Scamp! Even though you’re twelve years old, you seem still seem like a puppy to me.
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
Hear Ida Tell It: To Pee or Not to Pee
Upcoming Shows
May 1 & 2: The Moose in Me, The Moose in You!, The Footlights Theatre, 7:30pm, Falmouth, ME
May 13: Book Reading, Windham Public Library, 6:00pm, Windham, ME
May 14, Book Reading, Wiggin Memorial Library, 6:00pm, Stratham, NH